My name’s Top Secret. And so is yours.

I am the lady behind Detangled Lives.

I am a graying mom, with two out of my nest and one remaining. I live in a home that is really starting to show wear and tear. My husband and I have low-paying jobs, but it works for us. Our home loan is almost paid off and we live very frugally. Second hand is my middle name… Top “Second Hand” Secret……[get it? My name’s Top Secret….NLoL…not laughing out loud? LoL!

I anonymously write, post and do YouTube, and everything basically as “Detangled Lives.” I prefer to do it that way for several reasons, including privacy and safety. I am the lady behind the curtain, working the machine. Your identity and mine are not necessary for getting our goals completed. Only our stories and goals are important here. My story and goals?… I’m glad you asked.

I want to become the next Martha Stewart…but not. My hope is to be both the president and a member of the Hair Club for Men (search online for the old commercial)…but not. Basically I want to be a combination of the two…but not. First of all, Martha Stewart made housework and home management a public artform; and the Hair Club founder admitted that he was human and struggled for years with baldness until he founded his club. So what’s my take?

I am no Martha Stewart. I have neither her skill level nor her wealth of experience and knowledge (Yet!). If Martha is Level 10, then I am currently Level 2. I have a small, aging home that I am trying to keep clean, pretty and functional with minimal money.**[see note below]** All the while, also helping and supporting as many others as I possibly can to level up.

My dear online friends…it is my shame and my strength to admit to you that I am more like the Hair Club guy. I DO NOT HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER, but I am not content to stay down. I intend to work on a regular basis to get to my home management and my bucket list of life goals to the NEXT LEVEL. I love leveling up. I can check off a few level-ups already (wife-ing /career ladder success while mom-ing/ college completion —check, check check) Leveling up and achieving goals in my life is “seasonal”. I can’t do everything all at once, while also working on finding life balance as well. I checked off those three things and now I’m moving on to Detangled Lives. I want to finish strong.

**Honesty Note*** Please comment on it so I get input :

It is my aim to accomplish my simple goal in this online space and make it pay for itself and not empty my finances. I believe that outside of really basic things like operational costs; that all other profit should go towards membership discounts and other things to help the team. But I do feel really squirmy about asking the group to contribute to operational costs that include normal business operations such my home office and car expenses because I think of people in ministry having personal jets, etc. I would like my normal family income to continue to be the means God takes care of my family, but I am seeking (non-yes-man) input about this Honesty Note concerning home business operational expenses.


My heart wants us all to be humble and grounded in kindness and caring, as we LEVEL UP together. I really do not want to get snooty, high-and-mighty after leveling up and I am praying for all of us because I know that human nature will pull the opposing way. I rely on you readers and accountability team to lovingly remind me of the following 3 things:

  • I am in the same boat, not somewhere high and lofty, looking down. I rely on God to give my strength. I also rely on your accountability to keep me in my place so I can help you and myself.
  • In Detangled Lives spaces, we do not judge. We cheer each other on and up. We are all in the same boat in some way or another. If not, you know someone who is. If you have come to feel superior to people; you might need anther online group.
  • We are here to humbly work ourselves up from the bottom to the top. THERE IS SO MUCH AWESOME STUFF THAT WE ARE GOIG TO DO TOGETHER!!!! We are going to have Martha-Stewart-home-skills, finally write those books, step up our health & beauty routines, get rid of all that paper clutter…the sky’s the limit.

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